He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
