Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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