Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize