I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
