I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
