I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
