Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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