Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
