He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
