ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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