I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
