Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm always down for nudity.
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