He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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