Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Welp...herpes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
