Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
