saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
