living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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