So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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