she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
