he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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