Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
