That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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