I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
