very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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