you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
