It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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