i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
