I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I could fuck to npr.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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