Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
