I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
