I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
