i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
