He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
