I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
