And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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