her vagine was all disorganized.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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