he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
