you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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