It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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