I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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