But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
