You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
