Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
PANTIES FOUND
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