Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
