then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
