I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
