i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
