who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He felt like a one man threesome
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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