@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
