Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
