And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
