dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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